Did you lose them? Or confuse them?

Lose. Confuse. These are common problems when we’re sharing our work and ideas. It’s worth being aware of the difference between them, though.

Last week I was in a co-working / coaching session. The other person wanted my input on a prototype.

The first thing they said after stopping their screen share was “Where did I lose you?”. I guess I had a certain look on my face.

It took me a beat to respond, as I realized there were two things happening.

“Where did I confuse you?”: this is an inability to understand, usually because there’s too much going on. The word ‘confuse’ comes from the Latin ‘mingle together’ and the Old French ‘bring to ruin’. Aka, ruin my brainbox from too much stuff mingling.

“Where did I lose you?”: in many interactions, especially online, this is more likely to be a case of energy and engagement. It might well be a symptom of confusion, but more likely the narrative, delivery, facilitation is off-base. We tune out, trail off.

Turns out, I was a tiny bit confused. But it was more that they lost me. More than once.

The good news is both issues are fixable.

You can prevent people getting lost while you’re with them in the moment. Ask questions. Read the room. Shift your energy and delivery modes.

Confusion is more difficult to prevent in real-time. But upfront? For sure. This is why it’s worth placing more of your focus on design vs. delivery.

Next time you’re about to present something, it’s worth doing a dry run with a trusted friend or colleague and find out if the problems are more related to Lose… or Confuse…

Did I lose you?

Oh no, there you are.

I hope this wasn’t confusing.